its been crazy who knows what is going on... to many things to many people....everythings a hazy purple nothing makes anything... what is life really? you know what better Q what the hell is money?

 who the hell thought of it?

I hate money.... lets see waste my hole day to have money for what shit i dont need and time i dont have cuz im working for it haha. yeah ok i wounder if 2pac is really dead i think he is i mean hummm i dont think he is stupid enought to fake it 2 times or whatever haha.. life is funny all its little crazyness... my silver fingernail polish is comin off and its crazy... i dont want to go to school tomorrow i dont think i can all those crazy faces all those weird kids that dont clean them selfs i dont know people look at me funny i think tim can see right through me he knows all..... maybe they all know all how do i know im not in just some crazy comma and no one is really here hu? i could be making this all up hell i could be making you up you could be making me up....... shit there is always something you can never have nothing no matter how hard you try it just doesnt happen... if there was no sky no earth no stars or anything and it was just a dark thing then there  is still somthing space not like space but you know space....you cant get ride of the something that makes up the nothing....... if there is a god where did he come from i mean hell what do they mean he just was who thought of him he had to come from somewhere where did anything come from i mean if the big bom thing was right where did the shit that made it happed come from? i dont know i hope i remeber this feeling for ever night

o last night was awesome…….I had way to much fun hehehehehe…… But there are a lot of things about last night that confuse me and hummm are really just kind of odd….. Some things I wish I could take back and now one person I feel odd talking to….. But those are just little things compared to the fun I had last night………. I and Jordan didn’t even get back to his house until about 8 this morning. His mom was like where in the hell have you too been like she really gives a shit lol…. Yeah it’s real good to be back I missed Jordan so much…. Yeah I think im breaking up with Adam tomorrow…. I mean where did he really think this was going anyways the Whole time I was in Tennessee he called me like what 3 times I was there for like a month….. And that’s when I needed him the most ya know….. Shit im not even going out with Tim and he’s not like Jordan like my best fine or anything and he called me every other night….. Such a sweet heart lol…. Yeah plus after last night Adam is prob going to hate me but o well I don’t even thing of it as us going out I mean it really isn’t even now that I am back we have only hung out 2 days I have been back a week and I have hung out with Jordan everyday of course and Tim about ever day but like 2 the days I didn’t hang out with Adam he should be there for me if he wanted it to work more then my friends…. But what the fuck ever….. Im spending the night at Jordan’s house again…. Hehe my firend Josh is going to have a party tonight so we are going and we are picking little Tim up for it… it should be fun …… hell its night like I can sleep anymore….. For like the last two weeks every time I go to sleep I have a dream about the crash but it is real odd it’s like the dream happens just like it happened but it’s like I see it from different angels…. Its not in slow moshion or anything either its like a two second dream and then I wake up crying every night that’s one of the reasons I am trying to stay at Jordan’s house cuz at least he is there when I wake up….. I don’t   want to go to my parents or something lol and its not like I have Adam there for me but o well I have to go get ready night night